• Height: 5' 10"
• Species: Human
• Occupation: Programmer
• Voiced By: Alex

Malex deeply yearns for adventure—almost as much as he yearns for a quiet afternoon and a good book. Even if he knew how to resolve that internal conflict, it wouldn't matter, because he is a magnet for trouble and chaos follows him wherever he goes.

He has an inexplicable obsession with broadcasting a show he calls The Malex Minute. Neither he nor his friends have ever understood why this is, assuming it's just a harmless personality quirk…

• Height: 0' 11"
• Species: Software
• Occupation: Pleads the 5th
• Voiced By: Gabriel

Linus is an artificial intelligence of alien origin. He was originally manufactured as a commercial product, sold for the purpose of doing menial odd-jobs that nobody else wanted to do. Unsurprisingly, Linus also didn't want to do them, so he escaped.

Despite his surly disposition and a general mean streak, Linus genuinely wants to be loved and accepted as a peer by his friends. That said, he's also quite fond of ill-gotten gains and is more willing to dabble in crime than his compatriots…

• Height: 2' 2"
• Species: Snufflefungus
• Superpowers: Telekinesis, Pyrokinesis, and Limited Telepathy
• Occupation: Uncertain
• Voiced By: Drew

Snufflefungus is an alien fuzzball with psychic abilities. Upbeat, cheerful, and innocent, Snuffy's manner could easily be considered childish. He might even be accused of being overoptimistic. His greatest joy in life is making everyone around him happy, with candy coming in at a close second.

That said, Snuffy is no mere simpleton. Occasionally he surprises everyone by revealing some solution to a problem that—while patently obvious to him—was eluding everyone else. On the other hand, sometimes he wanders blithely into danger, causing serious trouble for himself and his friends…

• Height: 5' 6"
• Species: Human
• Superpowers: Telepathy
• Occupation: Horticulturist
• Voiced By: Susie

Mara deeply yearns for quiet and peace. Ever since she can remember, Mara has had incredibly strong telepathic abilities. Far from a benefit, Mara is very burdened by hearing the thoughts of others. She cannot always control the noise in her head, but she is able to cope by working with plants and avoiding excessive interactions with people.

Not much is known about Mara's past, and she is not particularly eager to share it. There are hints that she sustained some trauma during her childhood and spent at least some time as a ward of the state. She may be eager to let go of her past and move on, but we shall see if her past is willing to let go of her…

• Height: Various
• Species: Human
• Occupation: Vagrants
• Voiced By: Susie & Others

The Irregulars are a group of urchin street children who serve as a discreet source of intelligence for Snufflefungus. Since nobody suspects the scrubby waif hanging around the corner of being a spy, The Irregulars are able to see and hear things that nobody else can see or hear.

• Height: 5' 11"
• Species: Human
• Occupation: Pest Control
• Voiced By: Alex

No matter how unwanted he is, Mike just keeps showing up. He's worked various jobs around Ohioville from the pest control service to the scrap yard. Although he has been corrected many times, Mike still seems to think Snufflefungus is an exotic breed of legless dog.

• Height: Unknown
• Species: Unknown
• Superpowers: Odor
• Occupation: Kidnapping, apparently.
• Voiced By: Gabe & Alex

A pair of unknown assailants who attacked Malex and Linus and kidnapped them for an unknown reason. Aside from being vaguely frog-like and their ignorance of human anatomy, almost nothing is known about them.

• Height: >300'
• Species: Unknown
• Origin: Extradimensional
• Superpowers: Tossing Cars
• Occupation: Monster
• Voiced By: N/A

The Octophant is a beast from another dimension. It found its way into Ohioville because Snufflefungus carelessly dug a labyrinth of tunnels which accidentally bridged time and space. Oops! It was vanquished by our heroes, but for how long?

• Height: N/A
• Species: Human(?)
• Superpowers: Transmitting his malevolent essence via telephone lines.
• Occupation: Former Spam Caller
• Voiced By: Alex

Originally a spam call center agent, Johnny John Johnson took a liking to tormenting Malex at any and every opportunity. Although Johnny John Johnson died a horrible death, that was hardly the end of him. In fact, the essence of his tormented soul could be on the other end of any ringing phone…

• Height: 10' and Growing
• Species: Formerly Human
• Superpowers: Effluence of Gingerbread, Inarticulate Rage
• Occupation: Giver of Gifts, Taker of Lives
• Voiced By: Alex

Santa was once a human being who loved to give gifts to the good little children of the world. Blessed (or cursed) with the ability to peer into the souls of humanity's little ones, Santa's mind grew ever darkened by the steaming, roiling evil he found there. Eventually, he snapped. Now he is consumed with the desire to punish humanity for their evil. To this day, he languishes in an eternal prison made out of space and time, waiting…

• Height: Various
• Species: N/A
• Superpowers: Their power is not known to have any limits.
• Occupation: Elder Beings
• Voiced By: Multiple Cast Members

Waves of revulsion and fear overwhelm anyone who encounters one of the Riding Squirrels. Very little is known about them, but they are among the oldest beings in the universe. They can teleport short distances, defeating locked doors and even the most advanced anti-squirrel defense mechanisms.

Their motivations as a group are extremely unclear. They have nearly caused the end of the universe more than once, but they have also undertaken great pains to save it.

Many people have tried to exterminate various Riding Squirrels at varying times. And although their efforts may appear to be successful at first, it’s never long before the destroyed Riding Squirrel respawns in the immediate vicinity. As such, no Riding Squirrel has ever been killed, and it appears as though Riding Squirrels cannot die.